Turns out I didn’t win $750,000. In fact, I’m pretty sure that was just one big scam. Anyway, looks like I’m back in the blog business. Sorry about any confusion this may have caused… Oh, and I fully apologize to my SSD masters.
Archive for the ‘WTF?’ Category
Sorry About The Suckers Bit…
Sunday, January 30th, 2011W00T!!! I WON!!!
Saturday, January 29th, 2011From The Desk Of The Online Co-ordinator,
Facebook Global Promotion,
145 -157 St John Street,
London, EC1V 4PY,
United Kingdom.
Congratulations!
We are pleased to inform you, that you have been emerged as a Grant winner in the 2010/2011 Facebook Grant
Award. You have wona total sum of $750, 000.
For your winning details, further instructions and directives on how to receive your cash prize, Kindly Contact The Online Co-ordinator
Mr. David Buckley
Online Co-ordinator
Facebook Global Promotion
Phone: +447031841695.
Email: uklotto.claimcenter@cyberservices.com
Announcer!
Mrs. Elizabeth Terry
Facebook Award Promo Team
See you later, suckers! I don’t need this job anymore!
Viking Tactics Guitar Sling
Friday, January 28th, 2011It’s a Viking Tactics Sling, but modified for use with a guitar. Although this product would seem to make more sense in the hands of El Mariachi, it’s quite honestly not a bad idea. Guitarists need slings to better utilize guitars just like soldiers need slings to better utilize their weapons. It’s nice to see a company listen to its consumers and produce such a useful and cool product. If I put more effort into learning how to play my guitar, I might actually have to pick one up.
You can get yours at vikingtactics.com.
Everything Is A Weapon
Wednesday, January 26th, 2011This is a demonstration showing how an elderly man can use a simple rolled up newspaper to kick the ass of a guy with a bad haircut and no fashion sense. My dad used to tell me everything is a weapon. I never believed him, but I guess it’s true. Of course I could argue that shoving anything into a man’s anus is deadly in and of itself, but this is so impressive that it’s worth mentioning.
Surefire Yo-Yo
Monday, January 24th, 2011GG&G Introduces the Shotgun Shell Salt & Pepper Shakers And Toothpick Holder
Thursday, January 20th, 2011A Bike Built For 007? No, But It’s Still Pretty Cool
Tuesday, January 18th, 2011The BOND bike, which stand for ‘Built of Notorious Deterrents’, is a name well earned. It features a flamethrower to stop cars from coming too close, an ejector seat to combat bike thieves, a rear caterpillar track to deal with potholes, and a droppable front ski for snow. Sadly, the bike is only a concept piece by U.K. bike insurance company ETA, so don’t expect to see it on the market any time soon. Look for it at Cycle Show 2010.
Golden Gun Replica Up For Auction
Tuesday, January 18th, 2011Do you remember seeing ‘The Man With The Golden Gun’ and thinking how sweet that iconic weapon was? Well, it’s not entirely impossible to have one of your own, figuring you have around $2000 to spare. Later this month, a replica of the Golden Gun made by SD Studios will be auctioned by Hansons Auctioneers where it’s expected to fetch somewhere between £1,000 and £1,500. The piece is made of a cufflink, fountain pen, cigarette lighter and a case, and includes a bullet with ‘007’ etched onto it. Total James Bond fanboy item if I ever saw one.
Thanks to SWNS
Maverick HS12 “Tactical” Over/Under
Tuesday, January 18th, 2011Mossberg knows how to make a great shotgun. Their products are widely used by military, law enforcement, and civilian sources for both personal defense and sport. But when they decide to alter one of their hunting shotguns and call it a tactical firearm? That may just be jumping the shark a little. On that note, I present to you The Maverick HS12 over/under.
Now, when we get right down to it, a ‘tactical’ firearm’s purpose is to perform well when engaging an enemy, and I’m not too sure an over/under shotgun has that capability. Sure it’s black, features a shortened barrel, and sports Picatinny rails (just a reminder: I am not describing an M4 carbine) but those particular characteristics don’t instantly equal tactical. In addition to this, one glaring flaw really holds the Maverick back: it features extractors and not ejectors, so when you pop the barrel to reload, you have to manually remove the spent shells, a time-consuming action that could cost you your life.
Maybe I’m being a little too judgmental since I’ve never actually tested the Maverick, but the idea isn’t a practical one. I’d rather get a 590A1 with a six round magazine tube (from the same company, no less) than a double-barrel shotgun any day of the week. Also, when you release a firearm that sounds more like a Nerf blaster than a self-defense tool, you deserve at least a little scrutiny.
The Kick Dummy
Tuesday, January 18th, 2011It’s a dummy you use to practice kicking a man in the crotch. At least, that’s all the commercial seems to imply. And while that is a fine defensive move (sarcasm), it’s not the end-all-be-all technique that will save your life in every engagement. Hell, after hearing about this, I might just have to start wearing a crotch protector of some kind so I don’t accidentally get kneed in the sack by a former Royal Marine Commando’s daughter due to simple miscommunication. In fact, until I went to the actual website, I almost though it was a joke.
Long story short: This product is completely retarded. I don’t really care how un-PC that is, it’s the truth. If you really care that much about self-defense in the first place, put yourself, or your loved ones, through a self-defense or martial arts class and leave this steaming pile of rip-off in the infomercial where it crawled from. “As used by the world’s meanest fighters”, my ass.
The PIT
Tuesday, January 18th, 2011Behold, a comprehensive overview of the secret G.I. JOE base from the ’82 comic series of the same name. The surface functions as a mild mannered military base, probably home to an armored unit or something else lame. But, the fully functional motor pool leads to the true base underground. In order to maintain perfect cover, it is capable of accomplishing complete ‘lube jobs’; take that as you will.
Buried underground, is your standard secret base affair, complete with garage, Pentagon uplink, training area, armory, and the mandatory computer banks. All standard stuff for a secret lair. But of real interest to me is that there is not only a classified but also a top secret room on the fifth level. How could you beat that? Well, you can. There’s even a hologram room functioning off 1980’s technology. It’s like that tree house you always wanted, but ten times better… and underground.
Go JOE!
Gameboy Shot Timer
Tuesday, January 18th, 2011One of our readers pointed this out to us and after seeing it I just had to ask: Is it possible that someone converted an old Gameboy Advance SP into a shot timer? Sure, but it can’t be the device found in this still image from a KASOTC promo video; there’s just too many buttons.
Instead, it seems to be a Competitive Edge Dynamics CED8000 shot timer, which I’ll admit looks deceptively like the aforementioned handheld console. I wonder if Nintendo even knows this thing exists. I’m almost positive there’s a lawsuit in there somewhere.
Boba Fett: Spartan Style
Tuesday, January 18th, 2011What happens when you combine a violent hoard of nearly-naked warrior Greeks with everyone’s favorite intergalatic bounty hunter? This helmet, that’s what! Designed by Jon Wollack of Almost Dark Productions, this Boba Fett x 300 Helmet should have your inner fanboy quivering with joy. Or maybe fear? Either way, it’s an awe-inspiring tribute to badassery in a most classic form.
Zombieflage
Tuesday, January 18th, 2011Think Geek has once again contributed to the oversaturation of zombie products with their Zombie Attack Hoodie. Decorated with the battle scars of a survivor turned undead, this charcoal grey 100% cotton hoodie includes two front pockets, ribbed cuffs and bottom, topped off with a silver-colored biohazard symbol for a zipper pull. It also has the added benefit of allowing you to blend in with the zombie hoard after the eventual apoclaypse. But then again, is dressing like a zombie a violation of the Law of Armed Conflict? Get yours at ThinkGeek.com.