I was totally expecting the zombies to eat the dude anyway after their little song and dance number. Missed opportunity if you ask me.
Archive for the ‘WTF?’ Category
The Walking Dead – The Musical
Saturday, October 20th, 2012Axe Gun
Thursday, October 18th, 2012Axe gun or pistol sword, either option kinda negates the well-known phrase “never bring a knife to a gun fight”.
OMG Tactical Tactical Bottle Opener
Tuesday, September 18th, 2012OMG Tactical’s Tactical Bottle Opener is constructed from die-cast A-384 aluminum alloy that’s anodized to MIL-STD-171D and mounts to anything with a picatinny or weaver rail. It’s also designed to resemble a bald eagle’s profile.
Available for pre-order on infidelcaps.com.
B-Max Armor Testing Video
Thursday, August 30th, 2012This testing video for Italian company B-Max’s Level III armored plate is pretty standard, until you notice the testing overseer with an open shirt and later without the shirt and with a cigarette in his hand.
Thanks to Nuno M. for the tip!
Interceptor
Tuesday, July 24th, 2012This knife by Tom Anderson Cutlery can best be described as brass knuckles times insanity. Machined from stainless steel with a handle made from Spanish micarta, it’s pretty damn intimating, by virtue of its 4 sharp edges. Also, it kind of looks like the Batman logo, but only when put on its mantle… while you squint… in a dark room… maybe.
Available from knife-depot.com – $55.49
Hat Tip: Gizmodo
Russian Military Clown Car
Friday, July 20th, 2012Somebody should make a 10 hour version of this video, just for kicks.
Hat Tip: Stuff I Stole From The Internet
BBC Multi Camo Molle Jacket
Sunday, July 8th, 2012What you’re looking at right now is the Billionaire Boys Club Multi Camo Molle Jacket. It’s decked out in khaki-ish PALS webbing with a green “Multi Camo” pattern, with two front square pockets and adjustable button closures at the end of each cuff. BBC Astronaut embroidered patchwork is present on the front chest and the left arm has a “BBC Astronaut BB” patch. It also costs 330 USD; need I say more?
Hat Tip: Upscale Hype, where you can also see pictures of Jay-Z wearing it at the fairly recent BBC Radio 1′s Hackney Weekend (if you’re into that sort of thing).
SPP-1 Underwater Pistol
Tuesday, July 3rd, 2012The SPP-1 is a Cold War-era firearm of Russian make, designed specifically for use by Soviet Frogmen. It fires 4.5mm steel darts from four individual barrels. The pistol uses a double action firing mechanism and fires each barrel one at at time, with the striker (mounted on a rotating base) rotating to each barrel as the trigger is pulled. Also developed was the Avtomat Podvodnyi Spetsialnyi, an underwater assault rifle that fired 5.66mm darts and was fed using a 26-round detachable box magazine. Of course, the Soviets weren’t unique in their development of multi-barreled underwater firearms: the Underwater Defense Gun Mark 1 Mod 0 and H&K P11 were designed and used by the United States and allied nations for similar purposes.
Hat Tips:
THE ULTIMATE AR-15 MALL NINJA TACTICAL ZOMBIE DESTROYER!
Wednesday, June 20th, 20121 M&P-15, 1 muzzle break, 3 lasers, 4 flashlights, 3 red dot sights, 9 30-round magazines, 1 forward grip bipod, 2 additional laser/flashlights, and 2 additional horizontally mounted magazines = one 100% badass mall ninja zombie killin’ rifle!
The Zombie
Monday, June 18th, 2012Yet another video of an individual dressing like one of the undead and terrorizing random people. Although this one seems at least partially scripted, you have to wonder when one of these zombie pranks will end in tragedy.
HALO Master Chief on the BBC
Wednesday, May 30th, 2012Check out the logo for Halo’s fictitious United Nations Space Command right behind this BBC reporter. This was the image that greeted viewers during this segment about the real United Nations’ involvement in the very real conflict happening in Syria. The BBC later apologized for the mistake, but legions of Halo fans are now seeking the door to the alternate universe in which the UNSC actually exists.
Read this op-ed from the Rhino Den.
Tuesday, May 29th, 2012Excerpted from the Rhino Den.
MSNBC’s Chris Hayes proclaimed on Memorial Day that he was uncomfortable labeling fallen troops as heroes as he felt the term is used as an excuse to engage in “Unjust Wars”.
Somewhere Michael Moore, Bill Maher, and the Westboro Baptist Church just had a Douchegasm.
Forget that Hayes chose the worst possible day imaginable to show off his Brown University education by trying to opine on the definition of the word “Hero”. Also, forget that his “brilliance” had a special layer of disrespect as he dropped this knowledge bomb on us directly after speaking to a Marine who holds the honored and difficult responsibility of delivering the news of the fallen to their families. Let’s just look at his base contention: hearing the word “Hero” in relation to fallen members of the military makes people want to go to war…
…There was a time when men served – when to not serve was deemed cowardice. There was a time when Captain America, the weak little kid who couldn’t enlist because he was too small and sickly but never gave up until he could wear the uniform, was our gold standard of manhood, service, and patriotism.
We all know those days are dying if they aren’t dead already.
It’s been replaced by a small patriotic civilian base who understands the founding principles of our nation and the 0.45%, a shrinking warrior caste that is expected to hold the Fort while much of the rest of the country pushes for their next thrill, next car, next reality TV show, and next pleasure…
The Elder Ice Cream
Tuesday, May 22nd, 2012The Airborne Willy Chronicles: Part One
Wednesday, May 16th, 2012“God loves the infantry and God loves Airborne Willy.”
ALCON: The following is a recently declassified true story. Tactical Fanboy cannot guarantee the safety of anyone reading this. The information contained herein may be too sensitive to prevent everyone involved from compromise and potential elimination. (Mongrel)
The first time I saw Airborne Willy was on the Tactical Fanboy site. It was a funny post of an older black gentleman wearing a cowboy hat and what looked like an old 1960/70’sera Class B uniform shirt both covered in awards, decorations, ribbons – some not even awarded by the U.S. Army- and patches. Above the shirt’s pocket were two white nametapes. AIRBORN WILLY stitched into the material in bold black letters. I laughed him off. Just another nut ball that never served a day in uniform or was weeded out in the first weeks of Basic because he couldn’t hack it or was too unstable yet went on to claim that he was this or that and earned award after award. They are everywhere. Many apparently can’t spell. He was supposed to be a new hire for the site but as the months wore on I didn’t see anything of Willy, no mention, no posts, nothing. And that got me thinking. What if I was wrong? Could it be that Willy actually is one of those guys that did the missions we, the public, never hear about? But, instead of staying in the shadows he decided to come out into the light. I wanted to know more, to hear his story. Maybe I was crazy; maybe I was just going to find myself talking to a nutty old coot that smelled of stale beer, cigarette smoke, and urine. I didn’t know. What I did know was that one way or another I was going to find out.
Flipping With Guns
Thursday, May 3rd, 2012Afternoon with an African Warlord
Sunday, April 29th, 2012“These men, the most powerful and feared in all of Liberia, lived in constant fear. Fear of falling out of favor, fear of being betrayed, fear of being held accountable for what they had done. They were afraid of Taylor and afraid of each other. As the ostriches and armed thugs wandered across the lawn, I realized that no matter how terrifying Taylor might be, he was still just a man — and a vulnerable one at that. The guns, smuggled diamonds, and expensive Thai mistresses were all just a house of cards, always near collapse.
Our meeting took the better part of two hours. Taylor concluded the discussion with a smile and a threat: “If your next report contains the same inaccuracies, we will think it was not done in good faith.”
As we were being escorted off the lawn, I turned to the aide who was seeing us out. I had to ask. “What’s the story with the ostriches?”
“The president likes animals,” he replied. “There are three ostriches. There used to be four. One ostrich swallowed a cell phone, and when it rang, the bird went berserk. The bird was so badly injured that he died. The president was very upset.” He told the story as if it were the most normal thing in the world…”
Tactical Duty Kilts Are Up For Pre-Order
Friday, April 27th, 2012I’m sure plenty of you remember 5.11’s April Fool’s Day joke, the Tactical Duty Kilt. I’m sure you also remember that the response was so positive that they were going to do an actual run of the kilts. Well, that day has come, or at least the day to pre-order your kilt has come. They’ll be available in three colors: TDU Khaki, TDU Green, and Black, in sizes 28 to 54. Sadly, 5.11 isn’t accommodating the purchasing of MultiCam kilts (my preferred choice) at this time, but one can only hope.
Pre-order here: 511tactical.com – Tactical Duty Kilt
Bulletproof iPhone 4 Case
Thursday, April 26th, 2012Japanese company Marudai has created what is possibly the most awesome yet impractical iPhone 4 cases ever. It’s awesome because it can stop a .50 caliber bullet. It’s impractical because, well, it can stop a .50 caliber bullet. Specifically, in order to stop such a round the case features a backplate made from one inch of steel armor, weights 4.6 pounds, and has a hole drilled into it so the onboard camera is even usable. Additionally, only the back of the case is armored, and the phone requires a second case (which comes included) so it doesn’t get damaged while nestled inside its protective shell. When you factor in the almost $650 US (52,500 yen) pricetag, you’re looking at a novelty paperweight at best.
He’s pissed about what he don’t know about Abbottabad
Tuesday, April 17th, 2012From the skewering wit and insight of Weaponsman.
Another Internet Commando Demands Answers
Another Internet Terrorologist(*) in the Thpenther Ackerman mode is vewwy vewwy upset that he doesn’t have better visibility into the Abbotabad raid that whacked Bin Laden. No word on whether he’s packing his backpack and running away to join the thircus. On the other hand, we can take it to the bank that he’s not running away to join the Army (or Marines or SEALs). Or even the Air Force, that noble alternative to military service. But I digress.
More Revisions to the Official Bin Laden Raid Story – Global – The Atlantic Wire.
As John Hudson, the Internet Terrorologist in question, puts it in The Atlantic, a publication legendary for its insistence that Sarah Palin’s last kid was some kind of Manchurian Child doppelgänger, “the narrative of the raid on Osama bin Laden’s compound is getting another revamp.”
Let me explain it in terms even the uterus detectives at the Atlantic can understand: those who know aren’t talking, and those who are talking don’t know.
That’s the way we roll in the special ops world. Even a retired SEAL DEVGRU officer can’t find out what happened (Chuck Pfarrer is exactly that, and his book is part laughably speculative and part reasonably speculative, but absolutely all speculative). A journalist’s odds of getting this information? Hah.
It would be unfair to say that operators think of journalists as something like terrorists. The terrorists at least get some grudging respect for their commitment to their twisted ideals, and their imaginative asymmetric exploitation of the few strengths they have in this lopsided battle. The journalists — well, we know where they stand. (Thank you, Mike Wallace, poster boy for moral cowardice in his own phrase). If they’re so cosmically good at figuring things out, they ought to know where we stand.
Hudson’s second mistake is assuming that other people are telling the truth — especially journalists. In the rush to get in print in May 2011, no one bothered with accuracy, or with multiple independent sources. They just started typing. “Shaping the narrative,” gathering (or making up) facts that fit, hammering facts that didn’t into shape, throwing facts they didn’t like away. That’s how they roll.
In the latest, Hudson is upset that information in a speech by a CIA lawyer — trust us, he wasn’t there either, and like any lawyer is closer to being part of the problem set than part of the solutions toolbox — contradicts previous statements by Administration wallahs who also weren’t there, some of whom were quoted anonymously by other journalists (try to give that word the tone it needs, somewhere between oxygen thieves and pedophiles).
If you’re concerned about the anonymous (and probably either uninformed or nonexistent) sources of CBS’s David Martin disagreeing with the anonymous (and probably nonexistent) sources of the New Yorker’s Nicholas Schmidle, go for it.
(One thing Hudson has done is brought out the crazies in his comments section. It’s entertaining in an I-shouldn’t-be-laughing-at-these-peoples’-mental-disabilities kind of way. You know the signs: irrational conspiracy theories, accusations of cover-up, blocks of text with no paragraphs).
(*) Terrorologist: a term used exclusively by self-promoting phonies. Hudson doesn’t use it, but he deserves it after this pathetic column).
Gang Fight
Monday, April 16th, 2012Warning: graphic violence and language, but seriously…what is our society coming to?
Troops celebrating the return of classic MRE styles
Monday, April 16th, 2012Courtesy of the Duffel Blog
Cincinatti, OH– For over 30 years, Wornick Foods has been producing the Meals-Ready-To-Eat (MRE) that are familiar to troops worldwide. As the years have passed, the meals have changed substantially — and many troops agree — they’ve gotten better.
“I remember my first MRE,” says Marine Staff Sergeant Nathan Puckett, “It was Country Captain Chicken. It looked like the assembly line worker puked inside the wrapper and then sealed it.”
Some new offerings of MRE’s that have been popular with the troops include Chili Macaroni, Beef Brisket, and Chicken Fajita. Despite the success of the latest line of meals, Randy Newbold, Director of Wornick’s Military Business Unit, says the company is trying to innovate further.
“We’ve seen what Hollywood does and what the automakers have done. They look to the past to innovate for the future,” says Newbold, “so we’re re-releasing some of the troops’ favorite old-time meals.
Newbold showed TDB some of the meals chosen as part of their “MRE Throwback Campaign.”
“We’ve received a lot of feedback from our soldiers, sailors, and Marines, and they agreed on quite a few,” says Newbold, “to include the Hot Dog meal, Bean Burrito, and Pasta with Alfredo Sauce.”
“The four fingers of death?” asks Specialist Alan Engel, “Are they fucking serious? I think I may have to kill wild animals or eat nothing but Ramen on my next deployment.”
Newbold also believes that these ‘long lost meal-time favorites of the troops’ as he puts it, will serve another purpose: Preventing swapping. “We believe the re-issue of these meals will significantly reduce the occurrence the troops call ‘rat-fucking the MRE box’. Now they’ll always be able to get their favorite.”
And he says there’s even an added benefit for Wornick Foods. Although its not the main reasoin, Newbold concedes that the campaign is also part of a broad cost-saving strategy.
“The fact is these meals have been sitting in our inventory for almost 10 years, and they’re are taking up shelf space. We actually got a big inventory return when we sent a ton of these meals over to Somalia for goodwill. I guess they are not a big fan of Jamaican Pork, but the troops love ‘em!”
Read the Original Article and follow Duffel Blog.
Run for your lives.
Thursday, April 12th, 2012Part obstacle course, part race…the only bad thing is you can’t shoot at ’em.
*sigh*
Now that would be an event eh? Check out Run for your lives.
Glow in the dark musket wounds…
Tuesday, April 10th, 2012Nowadays everyone knows about Photorhabdus luminescens, stupid. Duh. You know, the glowing bacteria produced by nematodes? The one that kills other nematodes? Anyway, apparently it was all over the place after the Battle of Shiloh (20,000 casualties, most of them KIA) where the soldiers were reported to have “quickly healing, eerily glowing wounds”.
“It took two days and nights for the medics to reach all of the wounded soldiers in Shiloh, and some of the soldiers noticed that their wounds glowed in the darkness. Because the glowing wounds healed more quickly and cleanly, the mysterious force was termed “Angel’s Glow.”
Wild Space!
Monday, April 2nd, 2012This is so unrealistic. Everyone knows Mind Flayers hate Githyanki. Or Githzerai. Or something. I’m still too shaken by the epic awesomeness of this to say something witty.
Would it be too much to ask for them to have added in a half dozen half-nekkid Drow wenches?
Please God, let someone go ahead and make something like this full length.