Have you tried to find a way to express your mastery of the internets in a real-life, physical form? No? Then I guess Internet Merit Badges aren’t for you. But for the rest of us, each high quality embroidered patch details yet another achievement of one who regularly surfs the web. For example, the “Rickroll’d” patch is for those (pretty much every living being in the universe with internet access) that were tricked into seeing a video of Rick Astley’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ instead of whatever video they were originally promised. I’m such an internet geek, I qualify for four out of the five. Can you guess which badge I can’t claim?
De Santis Gunhide’s Ankle Cell Phone Holster. Now, this product is completely useless, as I’ll be extremely happy to explain. First, it’s damn foolish. Apparently carrying a cell phone around your ankle is considered stylish, and not completely asinine. I don’t want to have to bend down to my ankle in public every time I get a call from someone. That opens up plenty of problems on its own. Two, you’re putting a small, vibrating and ringing device on your ankle. That’s totally not suspicious at all. In fact, I can guarantee one jumpy air marshal would be all over the jackass that decides having one of these while on a plane was a good idea. Third.. it costs $32. Specifically $31.95, and that’s before shipping. The page also mentions ‘Armani’ suits, so this is obviously marketed at douches with a lot of money to burn. My point is this product costs way to much for what it offers: an ankle holster for a cell phone. So don’t buy it.
Tired of getting out-driven on the golf course? More accurate with your rifle than with your 9-iron? Then you need one of these! Simply replace your muzzle break or flash hider with this golf ball launcher, and you’ll be making 250 yard drives easy. The best part is it only requires .223 blanks, and no gunsmithing is required! In fact, it would also make a decent non-lethal anti-hippy device, except that non-lethal and hippy are two words that should never be in the same sentence.
This NERF N-Strike Tactical Vest can hold enough foam weaponry to start a small war… in your back yard. This one-size-fits-most vest holds four quick load clips (mags), 12 clip (mag) system darts, extra blasters, and any of the N-Strike swords. In addition, it comes with two clear clear clips (mags), because clear equals tactical, and 12 additional darts. At the rate NERF N-Strike is growing, I expect next years vest to be MOLLE compatible.
Move over Battle Bears, there’s a new stuffed companion bred for war and with a name swimming in alliteration. All shall bow down to the Combat Cock! Guaranteed to make you run faster and shoot straighter, this fine piece of advanced kit comes in a variety of flavors: MultiCam, OD, Black, Coyote Tan, and ACU (more like AC-Ewww, amirite?). A one inch nylon web tail attaches your [Combat] Cock to your kit, which is like adding +5 to your badassery. In addition, you can have velcro side panels added to slap on your favorite inspirational and/or offensive patches, elastic ammo carriers so your [Combat] Cock will hold more rounds, and stitching of the most manly of colors: pink! (no homo)
Visit combatcocks.com to order your very own Combat Cock. Remember, only the best of the best let their [Combat] Cocks hang out!
When shooting a firearm, it’s sometimes difficult to remember exactly how many rounds are left in your magazine. And while bullet counters aren’t a new concept, what has been produced is mostly limited to military use. However, Michael Ciuffo has created a simple to use and more importantly accurate bullet counter. As you can see from the video, it attaches to the standard Picatinny rail system. It works by picking up the recoil of each shot, and can be adjusted for sensitivity, from a few to 50 Gs of force. Although the counter is pre-set at 30 rounds, it can be adjusted for more or less, dependent on the size of your magazine. The display also flashes when you’ve run dry, and one of the more useful features is if you perform a reload and a round is still in the chamber, pressing the reset button will add +1 to your original count. Finally, the power source is simple: it runs on 2 AA batteries.
This is a very cool product, and it’s definitely on my list of ‘must-haves’. Luckily, because of the large demand for the counters Michael Ciuffo is entering production with them. To receive the newsletter which will detail their eventual release, message him on Youtube with your e-mail address in the body. Also, it’s worth note that these counters are not intended for use in combat situations, but from what I understand the device is sturdy enough that it could handle such conditions.
