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Adult Store Burglar Caught In Closet With Blow-Up Doll

July 9th, 2011

Earlier this week, U.S. Army Captain Justin Dale Little Jim broke into the MVC Late Night adult store in Woodbridge, Virgina. After taking more than $200 dollars worth of products and storing them in his vehicle, he went back in and preceded to attempt sexual relations with a blow-up doll in a store closet, where he was caught by police. Oh, and he was wearing women’s panties at the time. Little Jim was charged with burglary, grand larceny, and destruction of property and was held in the Prince William jail on Wednesday without bail. His trial is scheduled to take place on August 23rd.

Hat Tip: The Smoking Gun with additional details from The State of NoVa.

Friday Movie Review: Horrible Bosses – Sponsored by Tactical Distributors

July 8th, 2011

Every Friday I’ll be moseying on down to the local picture show to view the latest theatrical releases. This way, when you’re doing some weekend planning, you’ll know whether to catch a good flick or to take your hard-earned money somewhere else. This week’s movie is Horrible Bosses.

**Spoilers Ahead**

Horrible Bosses stars Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, and Charlie Day as Nick Hendricks, Kurt Buckman, and Dale Arbus, three lifelong friends who hate their bosses. They spend their evenings drinking, eating out and discussing the latest mistreatment they’ve suffered at the hands of a superior. These offenses, coupled with some alcoholic influence, eventually lead the trio to consider killing their bosses as the best solution to their problems.

A lot of the comedy stems from the mishaps the friends endure while trying to accomplish their ultimate goals. A fairly amusing example of this is when the friends are gathering information in the home of Buckman’s boss, Bobby Pellitt (Colin Farrell) and happen upon his cocaine stash. Hendricks and Arbus accidentally inhale some of the cocaine after knocking it over, while Buckman was in his boss’ bathroom, rubbing a toothbrush and somehow dental floss, among other items, in his ass crack. Even moments like this, however, rarely elicited more than a few seconds of laughter from myself. A lot more of the movie was spent chuckling, especially during Dr. Julia Harris’ (Jennifer Aniston) explicit sexual harassment of Day’s character.

Excellent performances from Kevin Spacey, playing Dave Harken and Jamie Foxx, playing Dean “M***********” Jones, add to the humor of the movie, as does the interactions of the three friends. All the actors really manage to mesh well and play off each other’s strengths, which adds value to the film, even if the plot, which really seems to exist as a framework for the humor, doesn’t necessarily manage to accomplish the same thing.

Bottom line: If you’re not nearly as desensitized of sophomoric humor as I am, then its quite possible you’ll enjoy yourself a whole lot. For everyone else, especially those with younger family members, Zookeeper just came out.

Blast From The Past – Stingray

July 8th, 2011

Unlike most of the people in my generation, I was lucky enough to be exposed to the wonders of supermarionation TV shows, including the much-loved Thunderbirds. However, I wasn’t aware of this show until recently seeing it in an io9 article, so I figured I’d share the intro with the rest of you:

A quick plot synopsis from the video description: Gerry Anderson’s third SF supermarionation saga told the adventures of the WASPs (the World Aquanaut Security Patrol) as they explored the oceans and kept the world safe from a variety of perils. The WASP’s main weapon was Stingray, a super-sub under the command of Troy Tempest. Troy’s copilot was Phones, and they were often joined on missions by Marina, a princess of the undersea kingdom of Pacifica.

It’s cool, but I think I’d rather stick to the adventures of International Rescue. Of course, there might not have been a Thunderbirds without Stingray, so I’ll give credit where credit is due.

Casio G-Shock X-Large Military Play Set Limited Edition Watch

July 7th, 2011

With its mix of olive drab, coyote and khaki coloring, the G-Shock Military Play Set LE Watch looks very much like a tactical watch, and its ruggedness and large volume of features help to further this claim. The Military Play G-Shock is shock resistant, water resistant up to 200M, features a high-intensity LED and a large digital display area. Its powered by a CR2025 battery with an approximate life of 7 years. It can be programed to display up to four different cities’ times, from a list of 48 cities spanning 31 time zones, with city code display and full DST support. Additionally, this watch also features 5 independent alarms, a stopwatch that measures down to 1/100th of a second, a countdown timer that measures down to 1/10th of a second, and a full auto calender (pre-programmed until the year 2099). Of course, it can also display local time in either a 12 or 24 hour format that is accurate to within +/- 15 seconds per month.

And before you ask, yes. You also get the cool G-Shock action figure as part of the package.

Available exclusively* through Tactical Distributors

*in regards to tactically inclined retailers

Ape With AK-47

July 7th, 2011

This is one of several viral videos put out by the Youtube channel ‘apeswillrise‘ for the upcoming film Rise of the Planet of the Apes. As you can see, West African soldier or not, it’s never a good idea to give an ape an AK-47, especially after taunting him. The way the chimp rises the rifle over his head afterwards, obviously a sign of his victory, is pure gold.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes comes out August 5th, 2011.

Exercise Of The Week – The Burpee

July 6th, 2011

Having recently started CrossFit, I can safely say I’m getting a good workout every session. To celebrate this, each week I’d like to introduce one of the various exercises we… endure. And where better to start than the classic burpee?

Origins according to Wikipedia: According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the exercise was named in the 1930s for American psychologist Royal H. Burpee, who developed the Burpee test. Consisting of a series of the exercises performed in rapid succession, the test was meant to measure agility and coordination. It is not clear whether the exercise itself was invented by Burpee, or if his test merely popularized it.

I can’t personally confirm the statement above (it is Wikipedia, the encyclopedia anyone can edit after all), but I think it goes without saying that whoever developed the burpee was obviously more machine than man. For those not in the know: you start in a squat position, hands on the floor in front of you. Next, you kick your feet back to a pushup position, then immediately return to the squat position. From there, you leap into the air, as high as you can. Repeat as necessary.

Basically, done right burpees are one of the best, most exhausting exercises anyone can do. Plus, with all the variations available, such as one-handed burpees and pull-up burpees, there’s potentially no part of your body burpees can’t work out. Give them a shot if you haven’t already. The results may surprise you.

Loaded Objects Ceramics

July 6th, 2011

These handmade slip-cast ceramic lamps feature detailed designs based on well-known firearms including the Beretta 92 pistol and AK-47 rifle. Each lamp is delivered with a fixture, shade, cord and plug, ready for immediate use. Also available from the creator are full-sized Mk 2 grenades made from porcelain with gold pull rings. They were originally created for use as pawns for chess set. I think I’m totally ignoring whatever message these pieces are meant to convey when I say how totally kick-ass it would be to have one of the AK lamps in my room.

Loaded Objects Ceramics

Nike Pro Combat Core Fitted Camouflage Men’s Shirt

July 5th, 2011

The Nike Pro Combat Core Fitted Camouflage Men’s Shirt features a digital camouflage pattern in a color described as ‘Black/Flint Grey’. The shirt is made mostly from DRI-FIT, Nike’s proprietary fabric that wicks sweat away from the body, keeping the user dry and comfortable. Also featured is the ribbed crew-neck with interior taping for comfort and flat-seam construction for minimal chafing. These seams are ergonomic and contour to the body’s shape for an enhanced range of motion.

NikeStore.com – Nike Pro Combat Core Fitted Camouflage Men’s Shirt

Build Your Own Canteen Kit

July 5th, 2011

CanteenShop offers deals that allow you to assemble your own canteen and/or 10×4 backpacker starter kit. Through these deals, the components of each kit are offered at a reduced price compared to them being purchased separately.

The canteen kit starts by selecting either a G.I. or Nalgene canteen which includes a butterfly handle cup and choice of cover. Next, you receive a CanteenShop GrillTop stove stand and HC Inc. Boil Cover lid, followed by one of several spork-style utensils, a paracord chest strap, and purification tablets.

The 10×4 backpacker kit starts with either a GSI or Vargo mug which includes a Condor MOLLE II H2O pouch and a Guyot Designs stainless steel backpacker 32oz. bottle. Next, you get a Vargo dual stove and GSI java drip, one of several spork-style utensils, a paracord chest strap, and purification tablets.

Both kits also come with an optional jumbo bandana.

CanteenShop.com – Build Your Own Canteen Kit!

CRKT INox Case For iPhone 4 – BLADE Show

July 4th, 2011

Columbia River Knife & Tool is offering their own take on the iPhone case. Available only for the iPhone 4, the INox Case, true to its namesake, is constructed from stainless steel. It features black Delrin posts, a rubber bumper, and fits all size iPhone 4s. Color wise, the INox comes in silver, white, black, gold, camo and rainbow finishes. According to CRKT reps at its debut during BLADE show, it should be available now through authorized retailers.

CRKT.com

Happy 4th Of July!

July 4th, 2011

Enjoy your Independence Day and all the beach trips, backyard barbecues and fireworks that come with it, but don’t forget what the day celebrates: the adoption of the Declaration of Independence by the Second Continental Congress. Of course the 4th also represents the denouncement of a lack of freedom and the practice of tyrannical oppression. In a remarkable coincidence, this day also marks the deaths of both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson in the year 1826. A little history lesson for you all.

Lobby – A Capella Style

July 3rd, 2011

Through the creative efforts of Youtuber mattmulholland26, the iconic Lobby scene from ‘The Matrix’ is turned from one of pulse-pounding action to that of comedy as ‘Spybreak! (Short One)’ by Propellerheads is replaced by a multi-track A capella version. Even the SFX were replaced, although I don’t recall M16s and SPAS-12s making ‘pew’ noises when fired.

Batarangs? Batclaws? Bat snacks?

July 2nd, 2011

According to this io9 article, it’s quite possible the last film in the Chris Nolan Batman Trilogy, The Dark Knight Rises, will feature Batcopters similar in design to the ‘Tumbler’ Batmobile featured in the last two flicks. Helicopters are nice, but personally I’d like to see a BatVTOL or at least that sweet Batboat in The Animated Series that turned into a submarine. Ah, nostalgia.

The Rifle Umbrella

July 1st, 2011

It’s an umbrella that features a stock and trigger for a handle and barrel end for a tip. Two handles are available, a brown wood finish I’m assuming isn’t really wood and a black plastic finish I’m assuming really is plastic. The length of the umbrellas is based on which stock is chosen, 100 cm and 73 cm respectively, and the whole package comes with a strapped cover bag. Is it cool? Yeah, but there’s an inherent risk when carrying anything that looks remotely like a real firearm in public, unless you’re a Penguin cosplayer. Then, a weaponized-looking umbrella is expected, not shunned.

Gadget.brando.com – Rifle Umbrella

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

June 30th, 2011

I went and saw Transformers 3 yesterday, and I liked it. But instead of writing paragraph after paragraph explaining who would benefit most from paying $8.50 (or whatever it costs to see a movie where you live), a simple list seemed like the best option. So, without further ado:

See it if you like:

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
– Fighting Robots
– Good 3D
– To laugh (Ken Jeong (Jerry Wang), Julie White (Judy Witwicky), John Malkovich (Bruce Brazos), Alan Tudyk (Dutch), random sayings peppered throughout the film by Autobot and Decepticon alike)
– Explosions
– Leonard Nemoy
– More explosions
– Wingsuits
– Even more explosions
– Good CGI
– Autobots blowing up an illegal Iranian nuclear plant
– Freedom!

Don’t see it if:

– You’re looking for an extensive and well thought out plot.
– You hate explosions

Really, it’s mindless Summer action cinema at its best. If you’re looking for that, then you might just enjoy Dark of the Moon. For everyone else, go see Cars 2.

Double-Barrel Quad Rail

June 29th, 2011

If you’ve been pining for a 12-gauge ‘tactical’ double-barrel but aren’t in the market for a whole new shotgun, then you could always try the LaserLyte ADP-KZ Double Barrel Quad Rail. After installing this rail system, you gain access to four three-inch picatinny rails to attach your favorite lights, lasers, and other rail compatible items to your favorite break-action double-barrel scattergun. The rail comes in two pieces and is made from aircraft grade aluminum with a rubber covering inside the rail that protects your barrels from wear while six hex screws secure the system to the barrels. I’m sure someone’s overjoyed to see a product like this come out, but I’m not one of them.

Laserlyte

Just Launched PredatorARMAMENT

June 28th, 2011

PredatorARMAMENT has just launched. Featuring products from SORD USA and Ares Armor, the store will offer both MultiCam as well as A-TACS. Additionally, the prices are great.

For a limited time, Tactical Fanboy readers get a free SORD A-TACS camouflage Operator cap with any order over $150. Be sure to include the Cap in the cart to get the $15 discounted off the total for the free cap. Use Code SSDFLAGCAP.

www.predatorarmament.com

It’s Cool And All, But The Price…

June 28th, 2011

The Pomson 6000 Sub Atomic Wave Gun is yet another wonderful addition to the line of Dr. Grordbort’s Infallible Aether Oscillators courtesy of the fine, creative minds at Weta. If features a urethane resin and metal construction, articulated triggers, levers and switches, a custom built stand, certificate of authenticity and a limited edition art print, provided you’re the possessor of one of the first nine Pomsons. There’s just one problem: it’s freaking expensive! The Wave Gun is neat, and the available colors are pretty spiffy, but it takes a Hell of a lot of neat-n-spiffy to justify spending thousands of dollars on a non-functioning firearm, especially a fictional one. However, if you happen to be a model wave gun enthusiast, have the cash, and don’t mind plunking down a $1000 non-refundable deposit, then the Pomson 6000 can be yours for the low, low price of $4000-7000. If I had that kind of scratch lying around, I’d spend it on real firearms, but that’s just me.

Weta Workshop

Canister To The Crotch

June 27th, 2011

A man at the Vancouver Riots took what appears to be a canister of tear gas to the crotch, where it promptly discharged, knocking him on his back. The man, who’s name I am voluntarily withholding, has been going around Youtube, having any video of this incident taken down due to copyright infringement. Although I doubt the legality of his claims, get your jollies while you can, because this vid could come down at any time.

Black Powder Red Earth: Part 1

June 27th, 2011

I just got a hold of an advanced review copy of the new ‘Black Powder Red Earth’ graphic novel. Since I enjoyed the Facebook game, I was eager to read through it and see how good it actually was. I’m happy to say it does the property justice.

“Black Powder Red Earth: Part 1” by Jon Chang, Kane Smith and Josh Taylor takes place in a near future Iraq, 2019 to be exact. The story follows the actions of a PMC operating in the area of New Basrah, Basran. Their actions primarily include the capturing of high-value targets, negotiations with government officials, and information gathering. Showing the wide range of operations undertaken by these individuals definitely adds to the believability of the story. From earlier dealings with Echelon Software, I know a good amount of research and cooperation with actual operators went into making the story closer to reality then most other fiction dealing with this subject matter, and it shows.

Complementing the story is the art, which is done in a somewhat gritty style that matches the setting and mood perfectly. The coloring, to be expected considering the setting, is heavy in earthy tones. Variants of brown and tan are found in almost every panel, although more vibrant colors are also represented from clothing, cars, vegetation, and of course people. Characters are also outlined with a fairly thick border, which gives them a more pronounced appearance. There is also plenty of detail to be found, especially in the background of many panels. No scene feels lacking visually.

In short, I recommend giving this graphic novel a look. It’s a fine addition to the Black Powder Red Earth universe, and I’m eagerly awaiting the next installment to see how the story develops. It’s definitely one of the better new IPs to come out as of late.

The hardcover of “Black Powder Red Earth: Part 1” will be available later this year.

Echelon Software

Own The Bullet With Your Name On It

June 26th, 2011

That’s the slogan of ‘My Bullet’, a company that allows you to custom order either a .50 rifle round or 20mm cannon round with a personal inscription. Both are available in either brass and silver, and can come packaged in a metal case, window case, wall plaque or shield. Also available is the ‘Bin Laden Bullet’, a pre-made .50 round engraved with the words ‘Osama Bin Laden’ and ‘Got him!’ on opposite sides. In all honesty, an engraved 5.56 would be more appropriate, but I suppose its the thought that counts.

My Bullet

Gears Of War 3 – Horde Mode 2.0

June 25th, 2011

Take a look at this video for the newly expanded Horde mode for Gears of War 3. With fortifications, objectives, weapons drops, a money system and boss rounds, it looks like a fresh new take on the king of all survival modes.

Gears of War 3 drops September 20th, 2011.

Trenched

June 24th, 2011

Part mech combat, part tower defense, Trenched is the latest downloadable XBLA title from Double Fine. It takes place in an alternate history shortly after WWI where two radio operators survied the “Broadcast”, a mysterious signal that killed a large segment of the population. As an unexpected consequence both gain incredible intelligence and knowledge of advanced technology. One of the operators, Frank Woodruff, invents mechanized legs while the other, Vladamir Farnsworth, essentially creates television in the form of ‘Monovision’. This somehow drives the later mad, so he creates Monovision robots nicknamed ‘tubes’, and uses them to begin his conquest of the world. In response, Frank’s knowledge goes towards the invention of the ‘Mobile Trench Brigade’, a fighting force comprised of giant, mechanized fighting machines that can also set up stationary defenses.

Sounds cool, right? Well, if you have an Xbox, you’re in luck, because it’s available now.

BodyGuard Armored Glove

June 23rd, 2011

Ignoring the fact that it looks like it replaces your forearm with a giant slug, the BodyGuard Armored Glove might have a lot going for it. After all, housed inside its 3-pound gastropod-esque shell is a taser, laser pointer, video camera, and flashlight. That’s right, everything the crime fighting forces of the world need to deter even the most dangerous of criminals. It was designed by David Brown, a man who makes a living being a cameraman, editor, and producer of musical acts by artists such as Rage Against The Machine and Snoop Dog. Plus, Kevin Costner, who happens to be a friend of Mr. Brown, is a chief investor for the product. If First Lieutenant John J. Dunbar believes in the BodyGuard, then who is anyone to question its usefulness? It even won a Popular Science 2011 Invention Award, and they must know a lot about good inventions, since ‘Science’ is in the title of their publication. In any event, the first demo unit will be released to the LA Sheriff’s Department later this year, so if it finds success there, every cop in America could be wearing one of these in the near future!

FM 999-3 Counter-Zombie Operations at the Fireteam Level

June 22nd, 2011

This (fictional) manual details β€œthe primary doctrinal reference on conducting fire team sized infantry operations in a Zombie infested environment in the United States.”, care of Army Zombie Combat Command. The topics contained within include how to identify the undead or soon-to-be undead, effective weaponry and tactics against the undead, and other similar topics, all zombie-related. It’s a pretty solid guide, and since it is free and all there’s no reason not to give it at least a quick peak. A word of warning, though: the creators are definitely familiar with the works of Max Brooks, frozen zombies and all.

Original Story – Wired